Upon meeting he who became the myth…

This work is what I consider to be the second self-portrait I ever made. The idea came to me whilst I was pondering my relationship with my dad. I thought about how long I hadn’t seen him already. He had become some sort of ‘myth‘: only a ghostly figure whose appearance froze in time for me. I still imagine him with his excessive jewellery, name-brand clothing and a puzzling tattoo of a rose.

What would I say to him?

I’d want to tell him that he cannot take credit for my accomplishments. He does not deserve the pride. I’d want him to take a good look at who I am, and who he is. I want to ask why he messed up so badly and if he sincerely ever even cared about his children.

How physical shall I unleash my anger upon him?

I want to make him feel the same pain he caused us. He should feel weak and tremble with fear for once, yet I do not feel attached to this desire for revenge. I do not feel attached to any of the ways I’d want this meeting to play out. Rather, I’d like to see what will happen and not make any predictions since I know I am constantly allowing myself to change.

I want it to be clear that I depicted myself in a moment of action of which the following seconds remain to be unknown. It does not necessarily have to end in me crushing him beneath my feet or drawing some kind of weapon. I, therefore, intended for the potential (presence of) items in my hands to remain ambiguous. Hence I created the ‘frame’ of leaves and flowers.

“I am compassionate.

I am humble.

As I am stood full of radiance,

before what I once feared.“

For this piece, I worked with different materials such as gouache paint, spray paint, crayons and textile paint. The most interesting and fun part however was creating the ‘frame‘ by making ‘stamps‘. I used three different types of ‘stamps‘: actual leaves from my plants, stamps molded with foam clay and stamps carved from potatoes.